One day, a mother told her son, “We are having guests and I want you to answer the door for them, so plan on a polite speech to say to them when they arrive.” So the boy walks around the house looking for advice.
First, he goes to his sister’s room and sees her reading a book about bitches and bastards, he asks her, “What does that mean?” and she replies, “Oh, it’s just another word for ladies and gentlemen.”
Then he goes to his brother’s room and finds him watching a television program call dicks and arses, he asks his brother, “What does that mean?” and he replies, “Oh, it’s just another word for coats and jackets.”
Then the boy goes into his Mum’s room and sees her putting cream on her face, she scratches herself and says, “Shit!” outloud, the boy then asks his Mum, “What does that mean?” and his Mum replies, “Oh, it’s just another word for putting cream on your face.”
Finally, the boy goes downstairs to the kitchen and finds his Dad carving the turkey, he cuts his finger and cries outloud, “Fuck!” the boy then asks, “What does that mean?” and his Dad replies, “Oh, it’s just another word for cutting the turkey.
Eventually, when the guests arrive the little boy answers the door and says, “Dear bitches and bastards, please put your dicks and arses on the coat rack, Mum’s smearing shit on her face and Dad’s fucking the turkey.”